Like many gymnasts and dancers before it, the GorillaPod woke up Friday with a clear thought in its head, “I’m just too old for this sh**.” After years of wrapping around poles, hanging from door frames and even- heaven forbid – straddling rocks, the GorillaPod has decided that this is the end of the road. Plus, “who needs to adapt to environments anyway?” he mused. “Too much choice and flexibility must be a decidedly bad thing. It’s an epidemic, people spend too many hours trying to identify the perfect cereal in the grocery store, or trying to figure out the perfect shot. It all comes to the same thing, just take the picture, who cares if you will forever be wiped out of the family album, only to make appearances with your arm blocking half the shot? It is all about simplification.”
And with that, the new curmudgeon, turned over in his bed and went to sleep.